Well it's the holiday season. Almost as if the year is built for these very last few weeks of the year. As one could benefit from I have been reflecting from the year. Of course this includes where I am headed in chess
I looked back on the year with mixed feelings. I am finally heading in a direction of excellence at something winning my first real tourney competing in an olympic chess event and defeating players nearly double my elo. While excited for some early success I feel I could've pushed myself even further. Then suddenly... it really just hit me the other day. Once I made somewhat of a mark in the chess community my mentality switched from my comfort zone to simply maintaining success.
I simply don't care about success in chess. Honestly I want to be a crowd pleaser. I want to loose because I was too aggressive and miscalculated. Why? because it's fun and it pushes me to attempt the things that may not be reachable and succeed in what hasn't been achieved.
With that said you may see a performance spike whether this is for the better or worse. I am rededicating my mind and throwing away the score sheet. I will make my games so exciting to watch that even those who don't play will watch =)
I am also going to put a little better effort in taking care of my health. Consider this my new years resolution.